This EP sets itself up as a cheap-and-nasty shocker. The cover art hasn’t gained much from printing over being doodled straight onto paper using a biro; the back of the CD also reassures me that having been “mutilated and massacred” by the band, the final musical “turd polishing” happened at Lovegrove Towers. Goodo. As for the song titles, while‘Belgian Surprise’ may conjure up some notion of good taste, the final title, ‘I wanna live in your buttcrack‘ leaves a rather different arrière goût.

However, the music itself is as humdrum as it gets. Plodding rock numbers with a slight 80-s vibe, grungy rhythm guitar, teach-yourself drum parts, semi-spoken tuneless vocals followed by relatively competent noodling. Overall, nothing too taxing, and thus the first three songs pass by relatively harmlessly.

So onto the meat of the matter.

Songs involving references to bums have quite an impressive pedigree. From the superior posteriors of Spinal Tap’s ‘Big Bottom’ (“talkin’ ‘bout mud-flaps, my girl’s got ‘em”) right the way down to Joan of Arse and Frank Zappa’s ‘Illinois Enema Bandit’, bums have been used in myriad ways, to which we can now add living up one.

Far from causing a stir, the song’s regularity, its swift oom-pah lilt, the slight twinge of West Country in Leigh Alexander’s vocals and the uncomplicated joviality with which he is prepared to live up someone’s anus, at most serve to conjure up images of a mildly lecherous rustic bumpkin failing to chat up the local serving-wench. While the musicianship is very passable, especially for a semi-live EP, the song does not surpass pub rock, nor does the level of wit exceed the likes of: “I wanna live in your butt-crack, it looks so warm and snug, if I were to die they could bury me as my grave would already be dug…” As much as I wanted to like it, it doesn’t really cut the mud.

And in answer to the title question: no, as a matter of fact this EP does not remind me in any way of kidney beans. Although it does remind me of Captain Beefheart’s ‘Big Eyed Beans From Venus’, in which he states, “men should get out their wallets and women their purses, as a man or a woman without a big eyed bean from Venus is the worstest of curses”. But a man or a woman without this EP is no worse off, really.

Beaver Fuel Myspace

By B.M.

Local indie punk types Beaver Fuel launch their latest EP, ‘Doesn’t This Remind you of Kidney Beans?’ at the Bullingdon, Cowley Road on Good Friday (21 March) with support from comedic heavy rockers Beelzebozo and country folk maverick Faceometer. Doors are 8.00p.m and cover is £4.